An Earnest Consideration

Slow-Cooker Stash

2011-08-25T17:22:00.000-05:00

I saw a picture on Pinterest one day of several one gallon freezer bags filled with food. The caption said something about preparing meals for the slow-cooker and freezing them for when needed. I was immediately sucked in.

I told my good friend Krista about what I had seen and proposed a chop-a-thon to make our own prepared freezer meals for our own slow-cookers. She was sucked in, too.

The idea is to put everything for a slow-cooker recipe into the freezer bag except for the broth. Then, the day you want to cook it, you pull it out and let it sit for 30 minutes; dump it into the slow-cooker; add your broth; and cook that baby on low for 8 - 10 hours while you go about all the craziness of your day. We decided we'd do it!

Today, Krista came over and we pulled together all the ingredients. She was so sweet and brought me a Starbucks coffee to sip on while we worked. It was great fun! We accomplished a lot in record time because there was two of us, and we got to visit and enjoy each other.

We produced three recipes from the Eating Well website: Barbecue Pulled Chicken, Hungarian Beef Goulash, and Middle Eastern Lamb Stew. Because my family doesn't do leftovers, I halved each recipe resulting in 6 meals in my freezer just waiting to be used! I haven't been this excited about food in my freezer since I was pregnant with Grace and had made umpteen recipes to freeze...except these were so much EASIER!!!

Krista and I both declared the chop-a-thon a success and are going to see how long our slow-cooker stash lasts us. We intend to do it again!

Love you, Krista! Thanks for a great morning!!

Following Up

2011-08-24T07:33:00.000-05:00

Okay. I'm following up to my Deep Thoughts posting about Expectations. A little bit of what I wrote was reactionary. A little bit of what I wrote was stream of consciousness. Both of which are poor ways to write because you aren't really paying close enough attention to what you say. I had specific things in mind, but my words might have been read otherwise.

So, to attempt to pull it more together.

I think believing in God and participating in his story for this world requires hard thinking and earnest consideration. Jesus says if you put your hand to the plow and look back you aren't fit for the kingdom of heaven. This isn't a condemnation of "fallen" Christians as it is so frequently used. This is a statement of the reality that it is hard to be a disciple and if you aren't ready...don't start. The statement was a kind, grace-filled encouragement to "know what you are getting yourself into."

I believe God invites people to be part of his story. But on the other hand God so respects the free will of each person that he will not force his way into their lives. If a person doesn't want God...truly doesn't want God...God will respect that desire. God never closes the door...he wants relationship with each person on this earth. But, he won't come unless he's invited (whether the person knows he's inviting God or not). God knows the status of a person's heart and he will be patient until the person is ready. Sometimes that is never.

What I had in mind yesterday are the people who have concluded there is no God or at least no God who is willing to interact with his creation on a personal basis, and who read books about God, discuss God, deconstruct God, doubt miracles, etc as if they really were open to the possibility he is real. They purport to want to find God, but they don't really want to find God. And yet they are surprised and disappointed when he doesn't work a miracle for them. This is why I was calling it duplicitous. This is why I blogged. I am befuddled.

Like I said yesterday, I need to change my expectations of these people. What I haven't changed are my expectations of God. I know he doesn't give up on people. I know he stands waiting for the moment they decide he is a possibility to show them he truly is.

You Get Out of It What You Expect to Get Out of It

2011-08-23T08:04:00.000-05:00

I read something the other day that sparked a thought I had penned in my notebook I keep while reading the Bible or other spiritual readings. It had to do with the faith of Abram (Abraham). I don't remember what the comment was except the fact that Abram heard God's call to follow him into another country and he did. I'm sure it was linked into the Hebrews passage regarding his faith being credited to him as righteousness. (A subject worthy of another blogging consideration in and of itself!)

But what I got from the reading was something I remember being told regarding various experiences in my life...and that is the title of this post. "You get out of [fill in the blank] what you expect to get out of [fill in the blank]." This is so true about so many things, but people frequently do not apply this to God.

How can a person who doubts everything about God expect to find God when he expects not to find God? Did you follow me? To me it is duplicitous. This is the person Paul talks about who looks in the mirror and then as soon as he turns around forgets what he saw. And what is especially confounding to me is the fact the person is surprised he/she didn't find God. Really?

God called out Abram because his (Abram's) heart was open to God and willing to be faithful. God doesn't make the person faithful -- he just affirms and confirms the inclination to faith that already exists.

If you come to God as a skeptic be prepared to receive nothing -- but NOT because of God. If you don't want to believe something, you can find very logical reasons not to believe it. It doesn't mean you are right.

And yet, I must not be surprised I guess because I am obviously expecting those who expect nothing of God to understand and change their minds.

Guess I need to change my expectations.

Fixing the Shower

2011-08-16T10:39:00.001-05:00

When we first moved into our house, the shower leaked. I called a plumber because I equated water leaking with plumbing. He came in, looked at the shower, and proceeded to tell me I needed a tile man...oh and that would be $100 please. This moment in my life instilled my inherent mistrust of all people "repair" oriented...particularly plumbers.

This experience drove me to DIY. I'm no handyman, but if I think I can fix something I will sure try. I can add to my list of repairs the kitchen faucet, changing out three toilet flushing mechanisms (no, not just the handle) and the ice dispenser in the fridge. Thank you youtube and all the cool repair people willing to share their trade!!! Now to add to the list...tiling the shower...sorta.

Fast forward seven years from Evil Plumber Man. My tiles were coming off in the corner of the shower. Tile Man failed to do a very good job. You see we have an enclosed ceramic tile shower that sits on a PVC type shower pan. From my exhaustive research I have concluded that Tile Man sealed the gap between the last row of tile and the pan with grout. Why is this a problem, you say? Because grout doesn't give...and a shower pan moves as the house goes through shifts. There is no perfect answer to keep this from happening except to use a sealant that will give with it. That would be silicone. Thanks, Tile Man. You have added to my mistrust.

But thanks to the help of youtube, the internet, and Mike the Home Depot Guy, I have removed, replaced, and (hopefully) repaired those tiles. I had the joy of scraping off old the adhesive (called mastic in case you're so inclined to know) not just from the backs of the two tiles, but from the cement board to which they adhere (score one point for Tile Man...he didn't use drywall...so I could scrape the H-E-double hockey sticks out of it!). Then I reset the tiles, grouted (okay, so Mike the Home Depot Guy may have given me too light of grout...right now, I don't care) and sealed the seams with antimicrobial sealant. Really, all I care about is that no more water will get in behind the tiles. I feel pretty good about my chances.

So, for all of you out there who wonder if you can do it...you can! I may not have done a pretty job, (or a perfect job) but it should be effective. I'll let you know.

My Little Girl is FIVE!

2011-08-13T22:01:00.000-05:00

Today was Grace's 5th birthday party. Her theme of choice? Hello Kitty. She's been quite in to Hello Kitty of late, and she was inundated with wonderful Hello Kitty gifts. They all really were cute...and she LOVED them.

A few observations of her at this year's party... I think it was the first time she really saw and appreciated her gifts. It was that wonderful, wide-eyed amazement and excitement with each present. I loved it. She was very sweet with her friends and told them thank you. I felt like she shared her things incredibly well. No hoarding or "MINE!" being shouted. They opened the presents and played with them together. It was a sweet little group.

Still, I can't believe she is five. I mean, I'm glad for her to grow. We have a special relationship that develops new layers of richness with each year, but the baby years are leaving us swiftly. I remember the little infant who didn't want anyone to hold her except for me. I remember the toddler who spoke only in sign language. I remember the little person who needed me/Jim for everything. Now, she has an opinion about her hair, her dress, brushing her own teeth, buckling her own seatbelt...

So, I celebrate the five year old, but I miss the four, three, two, one year old...the infant. As such, I will drink deeply of this year until I have to face "six."

I love you, Gracie.

Summer 2011 -- Colorado

2011-08-10T09:02:00.001-05:00

Sorry I've not posted in a while. We've been busy trying to get ready for school.

Anyway, we had a fantastic trip to Colorado this year for our summer vacation. We went to Estes Park. We had two cabins just outside of Rocky Mountain National Park...our family had one and my parents had the other. It was really an amazing time.

The kids had never seen mountains like these before. They were all in awe and were very sad when it was time to go home. We were all ready to move there permanently. Jim and I commented how amazing it was that we could live together for a week in this small little cabin with no t.v. and no internet without killing each other. In fact, it was a great lesson on having little and being content with it. I washed dishes by hand. The kids colored, read, or, usually, played outside climbing on the boulders that separated our cabins. It was incredibly eye opening to see how much stuff we have and how much stuff we really don't need!

To recap the events of the trip, we got there the first day and just acclimated ourselves to our location. Jim took the boys to climb a little mountain behind the cabin...they loved it...while Grace and I made the cabin our home and we awaited the arrival of Tante and Papi.

Day two we went into the park and hiked around Sprague Lake while Jim and Dad fished. We left them to spend the day fishing, and Mom and I took the kids to get their Junior Ranger materials. (We are serious Junior Rangers!!)

Day Three led to a surprise visit to Fort Collins for Tante and Papi as Papi suffered from a minor altitude sickness. The rest of us took Trail Ridge Road to Grand Lake. It is a spectacular drive with views that will make you swoon. My favorite part is the summit where the tundra was in bloom and wafts of their sweet scent filled the air as you hiked. It is an otherworldly place. So utterly beautiful and different above tree line.

Day four we went up to Bear Lake Trailhead. We had a nice little picnic at the lake and then walked around. Jim and the boys went on the hikes that took you to the higher lakes (Nymph Lake, Dream Lake, and Emerald Lake) where there was still enough snow to be a challenge to most hikers...this was the end of June! It was a record snowfall year and the stuff just hadn't melted off yet! But they did it!

Day five Jim took the boys on a white water rafting tour down the Colorado River. We had rafted years ago on the Cache La Poudre, but the melt-off was so great the river was far too powerful for the boys. The Colorado offered just enough small batches of excitement! Meanwhile, Tante, Papi, Grace and I had a lovely breakfast and then took Grace to ride her first pony. His name was Blizzard and she was smitten! Papi was a great pony walker!!

Day six found all the Hurlburts on horseback while my parents took the Trail Ridge Road drive. We did a two hour trail ride through the park. Our guide was great and the horses just plain fun. Sam rode "Clown," Ben rode "Scamp," (a misnomer because he was really slow), Grace and I rode on the enormous "Georgia," and Jim was on "Romeo" (another misnomer because he had gastrointestinal issues). It was very, very fun and I was the only one who came away saddlesore...I think because Georgia's girth was the size of a VW Bug! She was huge! And this was the night we were visited by a neighbor we had never met. His name was Brown Bear, and he thought the tacos smelled really good, so he came up to the front porch where all that separated us was the screen door. I wasn't really friendly to him and slammed the thick wooden door in his face. He left rather begrudgingly. Real bear. Real big. Yeah.

Day seven we took the kids to get their Junior Ranger badges. The ranger swore them in and Tante and Papi had bought them vests for us to put all our patches and badges on when we got back home. The rest of the day was spent recovering and then we went to dinner with friends and the kids went to dinner and a movie with T & P.

Day eight...time to say good-bye. We all left rather sad but hopeful to come back and visit again. We visited the Royal Gorge (renamed the "Royal GOUGE" because they charge you a lot of money...be warned!!) and took a gorgeous backroad home that was breathtaking and awe-inspiring. If you need proof there is a God...well, that was it!

Day nine we were home. It was hot and we were longing for Colorado. Perhaps some day we'll live there. At least, perhaps, we'll live there for another week sometime!

Pie Party Day

2011-07-05T13:12:00.002-05:00

So, there was this little thing on Facebook that came up about a month ago. It was an invitation to a make a pie and post a picture of it. The date to post the pictures was today, July 5th. I lucked out because the day I saw the invitation I had already baked a pie.

My mother-in-law is famous for whipping up awesome chocolate/lemon/coconut meringue pies. I chose chocolate because...well...who wouldn't!?! I used Martha Stewart's Pate Brisee recipe for the crust and MIL's filling and meringue. It was a success! We ate every last piece of that pie (and then licked the plate!).

Here it is!

Here's the recipe:

Martha's Pate Brisee Recipe baked and ready for filling.

5 oz. cook 'n serve chocolate pudding
3 egg yolks
1/2 square Baker's unsweetened chocolate (I used a whole)
1/2 cup brown sugar
3 cups milk

Put the above in a pan and cook to boil.

Take off stove and stir in:
2 TBS butter
1 tsp. vanilla

Cool 5 minutes.

While cooling make meringue by whipping together:
4 egg whites
1/2 tsp. cream of tartar
7 - 8 TBS sugar

Pour filling into crust. Top immediately with meringue and seal to sides of crust.

Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes.

Oh, and do let it cool before you cut into it. Patience pays off with a beautiful piece of pie. I, did not wait, because...frankly...I couldn't!!! Cest la vie!

A Favorite New Meal

2011-06-14T20:22:00.001-05:00

Tonight I grilled outside. The temperature today reached 100 degrees, so I decided not to push the limits of my A/C unit by cooking anything inside. Our meal tonight? Grilled chicken and vegetable kabobs, salad, rice and a yogurt/tzatziki sauce.

I cut four chicken breasts into large pieces and tossed them with a little olive oil, oregano, garlic salt, pepper, and my favorite secret ingredient: Alessi Tip N' Grind Dipping Spices (a few turns, and it's magic!) You can find Alessi at Central Markets. I threaded these on skewers. I also threaded some zucchini, grape tomatoes, and red onion onto other skewers. For me, I prefer to keep my veg and meat separate when grilling. They vary so much in cooking time, and this simplifies things.

While these were grilling, I mixed together some spring mix, a few grape tomatoes and red onions and tossed them with a simple lemon vinaigrette. I had some left-over rice and this I heated with some olive oil and garlic salt (when I'm better prepared I make lemony rice with pine nuts...YUM!). But my favorite part of this meal, and what actually makes it is the yogurt sauce. You mix together about a cup of greek-style yogurt, 1/2 cup of feta cheese, about a tablespoon of dried mint, about a tablespoon of red wine vinegar and a sprinkling of garlic salt to taste. This sauce is awesome and pulls the whole thing together.

If you need more specifics, you can shoot me a note, but it is all very easy and very summery. My whole family said this was a favorite. As Grace put it, "This is so yummy I can eat it every day for lunch!"

A Race Well Run

2011-06-12T17:52:00.000-05:00

Well, we finished school this last Friday. Ben is now a fifth-grader, Sam is a third-grader, and Grace is Pre-K. It was a long, hard year with a few battles of wits and wills, but we came out on the other side, and I feel confident in the kids' educational abilities.

Having finished well, we decided to celebrate. The kids wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheese's as a reward, so we did! The place is a crazy, madhouse, but they had fun and felt like they'd really accomplished something. That is worth it! A little pizza, a little gaming, a big, grey mouse...for what more could a kid ask???

And, summer? Well, it officially started today with the purchase of a blow-up pool for the backyard. (As well as a beer for Daddy and a gin and tonic for Mom.) The kids got in and splashed to their little hearts' contents. No matter that the water itself was freezing and Grace's lips turned blue. There was a pool, by golly, and nothing...not even hypothermia...would keep them out! Well, until I trumped everyone and Grace broke into tears. But hey, that's my job! All was made right with the arrival of the "Fairy Queen" in the form of a large, wispy cottonwood seedling. No more tears for the little fairy-lover.

Yes, I'm grateful summer has come. Now I get to be "just mommy." "Teacher mommy" is a great person who gets the job done well, but sometimes I just want to have fun, too. Summer is my chance. As anyone who home schools knows, you give up a lot of yourself and your own interests to do the teacher gig. The people who do above and beyond teaching and surviving have my greatest admiration. I remember Jesse Wise in The Well Trained Mind saying one has to be prepared to let go of hobbies and interests because homeschooling will require all your energy. That's me. I'm one of those people. We do school and we try to keep a straight house. Anything beyond that is really just luck!

But now summer is here. Now I can cook, clean (yep...I said clean), read, photograph, play with stuffed animals and Legos to my heart's content. And, I'm going to do it, too!

Cottage Pie en Fuego

2011-06-08T08:46:00.000-05:00

We've had a little stomach bug around here. Nothing horrible, but something that inclined our palates to things less than our usual spicy preferences. So, I decided to make a cottage pie. As a side note, one can only call their recipe "Shepherd's Pie" if it is made with lamb...everything else is "Cottage Pie." I tell you this in case you are ever on a British game show and they ask you this question. You're welcome.

After hunting around online, I decided to play with Jamie Oliver's Shepherd's Pie recipe. It was different from the other pies I've made before because it uses rosemary instead of thyme and adds pancetta to the meat mixture. I say "play with" the recipe because: 1. I didn't have all the ingredients and 2. I cheated and used instant mashed potatoes (something I consider a sin, but darn it, I didn't feel like cooking in the first place!).

So, I cooked up the meat (in this case deer) in a large cast iron skillet and added all the veg and spices with some bacon in place of the pancetta. I popped that into the oven and proceeded to slave over my instant potatoes. Jamie fries some sprigs of rosemary in butter and then adds them to the potatoes. I melted a stick, tossed in about a teaspoon of dried rosemary when it was good and hot, and then poured that into my instant mash. It was tasty.

After removing the skillet to add the potatoes and replacing the very full skillet in the oven, I had a thought: "Maybe I should put a pan underneath that." And then the thought was quickly interrupted by my gregarious four-year-old who had questions to be answered.

Then I saw it. A flash of orange. Cottage Pie en Fuego! I confess, I said a curse word. In my mind I quickly thought, "No water, flour. Wait, I have a fire extinguisher. Darn, this is going to be a mess." So, the part of me that didn't want to clean turned off the oven and went to pull out the dripping pie. In doing so, more of the offending liquid spilled onto the heating elements and a nice fireball erupted from the oven. All the while, the aforementioned four-year-old was jumping up and down, laughing, squealing in delight, "FIRE! FIRE!" No concern in her voice...this was pure entertainment.

In the end, the fire's life was a brief flash...limited to the presence of the pie...and we were all fine. I put the skillet on a pan and put it back in the oven and we ate that thing after the prescribed 20 minutes. It was good. But I learned a lesson in the process. I've never had an oven fire before, and I don't intend to ever do so again.

As for today, I don't look forward to having to clean my oven.

Festivals and Biergartens

2011-06-05T20:45:00.000-05:00

We had a really fun weekend with my parents and sister. We woke Saturday morning and attended the Buckholts Cotton Festival. Buckholts is a flashing yellow light on a less-than-travelled highway, but they do their little festival up really well! The parade was short and sweet. The kids got to chase after thrown candy and sweat in the blistering heat of 9:30 am in Texas!

Following the parade we visited the vendors and purchase some shaved ice to survive our dehydration. Buckholts actually has a community center, and we went into the air-conditioned respite it offered! Inside was a lovely woman playing an organ (I'm going to call it this for lack of knowledge of a better word and because I think it was a little more sophisticated than an accordion). She really was beautiful and you could tell she probably "knocked 'em dead" in her prime. When I went to photo her, she posed prettily.

After recovering a while, we went to the fields behind the community center to watch drills performed by the First Cavalry Division's Horse Cavalry...a true horse cavalry. They were very impressive and beautiful. All of the "mounts" are the same color and size in order for conformity with as little white as possible. Those horses didn't flinch once when the cannons went off (as opposed to the rest of us who weren't expecting it and dove to the ground for cover!). Here they are in all their glory! (I didn't catch when I took the picture, that the horses were bowing their heads for the end of the program!)

We ended the night with some German food in the little town of Walburg. It was very good; and, following our dinner inside the restaurant, we visited the Biergarten in the back. They had live music and a dance floor. After a few lessons in how to "two step" for the boys and some spinning and twirling with Grace, Aunt Gigi and Lije it was time to go. Right as we were leaving THIS beautiful couple showed up to teach all us young'uns how to do it right. They were awesome!

I'd have to say it was a fantastic weekend!

PROST!

Sixteen Years Today

2011-06-03T07:38:00.000-05:00

Wow. Sixteen years. Seventeen knowing each other. Today is our wedding anniversary. It has been an awesome run, I can say that for sure. Adventures, growth, maturity. Understanding, respect, honor. All these and more define our marriage.

Marriage is a funny word. People have a wedding and then say they are married. I guess technically under the law they are, but I think "married" is something altogether separate from "wedding." "Married" happens along the way.

It's like exercise. You work at it. You aren't automatically fit when you begin your exercise program. And sometimes you hit plateaus that require a little "umph" to get you through to a new level of fitness. That's marriage...that's working toward being "married."

So, we've been becoming married for sixteen years now. I'm so grateful for Jim. I couldn't have asked for a better partner with whom to journey. I look forward to sixteen more, and sixteen more, and sixteen more...

Onward and upward...together.

My Little Artist

2011-06-02T16:11:00.001-05:00

I have always, always loved to do artistic things, not necessarily crafty, but artistic. One of my favorite things is mixing paints to make different colors because I find it so relaxing. In fact, the day my sister-in-law died (the anniversary of which is today), I found solace in painting and mixing the paint colors. I also like pencil sketching and pen and ink; heck, I like to color in coloring books!

So, it is a great pleasure to see the artistic creativity of my youngest. I'm really super proud of her. She is meticulous and detail-oriented. She's not going to leave anything out. She shades, she adds flourishes, she gives her people ears (usually)...

She's four.

All of my children have their own abilities that I'm sure will hit this blog sooner or later. Still, it is an honor to be paying attention and catch the things they do well so we can encourage that talent. I don't know if "artist" will be her official title someday, but I certainly want to give her everything she needs to develop her skills so that she may enjoy them for a lifetime.

This was drawn lovingly for her brother after watching the movie. She didn't look at anything. This is her own creation from her recollection of the show. I'm particularly fond of the attention to the hair! We'll call this:

Superman Returns and the Kryptonite-laden Rocks.

Enjoy.

No Matter How Insignificant

2010-05-11T07:27:00.006-05:00

I love Jesus. My thought today stems from my reading of Mark 5. Jesus is headed to Jairus' house to heal his sick little girl. A huge crowd is pressing in on him from all sides curious to see what he's going to go do.

And then there's this woman. She's been sick for years. She's seen multiple doctors for her illness, and all they did for her was take her money. So she's had a triple whammy: 1. She's a woman (that's bad enough); 2. She's a sick woman (we don't touch sick people); 3. She's a poor, sick woman (an indigent woman is the worst of them all).

This poor, sick woman, however, is full of faith. She is confident that if she can just get lost in the crowd and touch the hem of Jesus' robe, she will walk away healed in anonymity. So, she goes for it. And, she's healed immediately. She can feel it.

But, what she wasn't counting on... Jesus knew. He felt it, too. And, he wasn't going to let her get away without addressing her. He asks, "Who touched me?" The disciples think Jesus is crazy. "Who touched you? Well, let's see...there's only a few hundred pressing in on you...pick one." Jesus is persistent. "Who touched me?"

She can't escape. She has to admit to it. So she falls on her feet and confesses. "I did it."

Don't you know Jesus had the best smile in the world. Can't you see him look at her and raise her face gently in his hands. "Your faith has healed you."

Gosh, I love Jesus. I love that even in the midst of a chaotic crowd, he is acutely aware of the most undesirable and insignificant person...and he cares about them. I am so grateful for that kind of God.

I Don't Even Know How to Title This...

2010-03-26T08:23:00.021-05:00

I have frequently referenced the issue of discipleship and of becoming like Jesus. It is amazing to me what a threatening idea that is. So many people have taken issue with it under the argument that we are justified by faith alone and no acts or works can save us. Very well, and good, I say. I have no argument with that. Faith is absolutely critical. But I would suggest that "works" as evidenced in the lives of disciples (naturally and outpouring...not mere legalistic behavioral changes) is just as critical. They are a litmus test. You absolutely cannot have one without the other. I'm sorry.

Perhaps it just scares the dickens out of people who are afraid they might NOT be "saved" so they have come up with this faith/works debate. I don't get this. If you are truly a student of Jesus, your life will show it. There will be no doubt. And you won't have to tell yourself over and over, "I'm saved by faith. It's all Grace," because you'll know and others will know. Period.

My favorite quote, which I know I've said many times and seems lost on my good "faith alone" friends, states: "Grace is opposed to earning, not effort." You cannot earn God's grace, but he absolutely expects you to form the intention to learn from him. What do you think the "easy yoke" is? It's still a yoke, folks. It's "easy" because we're yoked to him and can learn to walk with him, but its a YOKE.

Effort. Intention. Obedience. Apprenticeship. Discipline.

These are not words that threaten the heart of Jesus. Nor do they threaten his message. In fact they ARE his message.

To borrow from the book of James, I'm glad your faith has saved you. You say you believe Christ died and rose again. Fantastic! But even the demons believe that. Are they "saved?"

And we can talk all day about words like "regeneration," "justification," "sanctification," etc. But the fact is that is all it is: TALK.

I assure you the first disciples (not just the 12) had no issue with the marriage between faith and work. Can you imagine what they would think to hear people today say, "Yes, Jesus has saved you, but is he your Lord?" As if these things were mutually exclusive. They'd raise an eyebrow and befuddled say, "What do you mean? How can he not be?"

Let me paraphrase and borrow from an excerpt out of a book I'm reading. It is again Dr. Willard. (As a side-note, I do read other authors.)

Jesus' call (or Great Commission) to the church post-resurrection was threefold:

1. By means of his power/ authority, make disciples of all groups of people (re-directing his pre-resurrection directive to originally go only to the children of Israel.)

2. After making disciples, baptize them into the Trinitarian reality of God.

3. Having accomplished the first two, they were taught to value, treasure, and do "all things whatsoever I have commanded you." (Matt. 28:20)

Yet instead of obeying the Great Commission above, we Christians today, due to a weird historical shift, do the following:

"Make converts...and baptize them into church membership. This causes two great omissions from the Great Commission to stand out. Most important, we start by omitting the making of disciples and enrolling people as Christ's students, when we should let all else wait for that. Then we also omit, out of necessity, the step of taking our converts through training that will bring them ever-increasingly to do what Jesus directed." (Borrowed from The Great Omission)

So, faith is wonderful. It saves us. God alone atones our sin and helps us become like Jesus. Yes, the Holy Spirit brings us to a point of recognition. But we cannot stop at the concept of conversion. Faith without works is dead.

A car without an engine and working parts has nothing but the appearance of a car.

We have done the message of Christ a disservice. Christianity, as it is understood today, has been castrated. There is no power in it. Sure there are a few Christians who stumble upon the power of discipleship and really make a difference in this world, but for the most part we have become impotent.

Jesus said if you put your hand to the plow and look back you are not worthy of the Kingdom of heaven. This means that until a person really grasps the reality of God's available power in his life and makes a purposeful decision to pursue that power with all they have, they won't find it. If one still thinks there are too many other things he needs outside of the the Kingdom, he'll never get there. Not because God won't let him, but because he can't see it.

This is the message of Jesus. And to tell people all they have to do is believe and "convert" (that is to acknowledge a fact of Jesus' death/ resurrection) is failing to give them the whole message. We're selling cars without working parts. Then what do you have? A bunch of people gathering Wednesdays and Sundays reassuring each other they are different...they are "saved." But they aren't because they haven't become disciples. They still put their hands to the plow and look back because they don't know any better.

God have mercy on us. Jesus have mercy on us.

The world needs Disciples, not "Christians." Christians aren't any different except in their own minds and groups. But if we were all Disciples/ Apprentices, our lives would be so magnetic people couldn't stay away. That's how it was with Jesus. That's how it was with his first church. That's how it must become...or we're all lost.

How I Gave Up Drinking -- For Now...

2010-03-20T09:14:00.010-05:00

For the most part, I am a Baptist...not that it means much to say that anymore as the lines between denominations are becoming blurred (which is likely a good thing). However, to specify the parameters around which my faith developed, particularly as a young person, I would have to say it was Baptist. As a result, I have missed out on a lot.

No. I don't mean I've missed dancing, playing cards or drinking because, frankly, I've done all of that. I mean I've missed out on some of the more beautiful practices of the "high" church. And perhaps this is a case of "the grass is always greener," but I do think in an effort to disassociate ourselves over centuries, we have truly lost some gems.

One in particular I have been practicing since February 18. I am observing Lent. My challenge? I have given up sugar and alcohol. Now for some of my teetotaling friends, this would not be difficult. But for others of you, you know my pain. And, the sugar thing...well, let's just say that's a doozy! It has been a big task to give up both at the same time, for sure. Yet, it has been very rewarding. I'll explain.

For me, Lent is not the practice of depriving myself for the sake of depriving myself. It is not a required behavior for me because I am not "Catholic." This is of my own volition with no legalistic demands on me. I denied myself sugar and alcohol for one reason: they are my "go-tos."

Around 2 pm I am looking for sugar to meet my needs. I'm tired, crabby, and need a "pick-me-up." Then, around 4:30 pm I am watching the clock, counting the minutes until 5 pm. That's right folks, I need a drink. Now, let me say before I lose you here, it's one drink. Nonetheless, I am using it as a salve for my frustrated spirit...to take the edge off. There's nothing wrong with taking the edge off. As a matter of fact, I think there are plenty of folks who could, on occasion, seriously benefit from a good, stiff drink. But I recognized sugar and alcohol were my fallbacks, and I chose to give them up so when I got that craving I could use the craving as an "alarm" to turn my focus to God (in the same way hunger pangs during fasting serve to focus the faster).

Now's the part where I tell you how it is going. I admit the first two weeks were, well, hell. I couldn't believe my go-tos weren't available. I started looking for other things to take their place. At the same time, I worked very hard to focus my mind on God as I struggled. This usually looked like this: "God, I'm looking for something to fill me right now. Please be that thing. I don't want dependence on anything but you."

I've been at it 31 days now. I have 11 left to go. I have a friend, who is Catholic, participating in this with me. She and I have both commiserated with one another about how challenging it has been. It has also been nice to know we both have a support system to go to when we are feeling weak. This Lenten challenge has been very special, rewarding and enlightening.

"For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live," Paul says in Romans 8:13. Of course, I don't think sugar or alcohol are sins. What I do realize, however, is there are so many things in life that want to step in and distract our focus from God and his desire to meet our needs (even as mundane as a "pick-me-up").

Putting to death the sins of the flesh (or habituated reactions that come from us naturally) is not something we can sit back and hope for Jesus to simply do in us. It takes practice. This is why things like Lent, or fasting, or even counting to 10 and reflecting before reacting are so important. Dallas Willard says as a result of recognizing the loveliness of God, we must then have an objective of "...the breaking of the power of patterns of wrongdoing and evil that govern our lives because of our long habituation to a world alienated from God. We must learn to recognize these habitual patterns for what they are and escape from their grasp." (D.C. p. 341)

All my Baptist life long I have been told I just have to ask forgiveness each time I fail. We have become "Consumer Christians" who use the grace of God for forgiveness, but never give our whole selves over to transformation into Christ-likeness. This is how you have people who can commit adultery over and over and then turn around and say they are Christian. This applies to everyone. What's your sin in your members? Anger? Gluttony? Vanity? Pride?Contemptuousness? (Oooh, there's a good one for many Christians I know...this one included.) We sin...we ask forgiveness; and the cycle goes on and on and on.

How great would it be if we could be transformed from these habituations...these "sins in our members?" All we need to do is be intentional. We decide we are going to take these things head on. We make a plan. We will tackle one issue at a time so as to have success. We practice spiritual disciplines in order to overcome our flesh. We form a support group who not only helps us be accountable but also loves us enough with grace and without judgment to help us win the battle of Spirit versus flesh.

Oh, how I wish this is what we were being taught. Thank you, Lent, for giving me a taste of what this would be like.

Those Pharisees Were Hypocrites!!

2010-02-23T07:36:00.009-06:00

I've been reading through the gospel of John. Actually, I've been reading through all of the gospels since summer and intend to read through them again and again. I figure if I am a disciple of Jesus, I'd like to sit under Jesus and hear him teach for a good while. Not that Paul isn't an excellent teacher. Although I must admit, I have come to think poor Paul wouldn't appreciate the way his material has been handled over the years...but, I digress.

I like the variations of style between the gospel writers. John has some of my favorite images of Jesus. But the particular instance I blog about right now is after his betrayal in the garden.

Jesus has been betrayed and taken before the high priest's father-in-law (because why???) where they ask him questions which he answers honestly only to be reward for this honesty which a punch in the face. Then he goes to see the chief priest. There isn't much on that event in John and the priests and pharisees go ahead and take Jesus to see Pilate at his "headquarters" or the praetorium. Here's the part I'm wanting to focus on...

"Then they took Jesus from Caiaphas to Pilate's headquarters. It was early in the morning. They themselves did not enter the headquarters, so as to avoid ritual defilement and to be able to eat the Passover." Jn. 18:28

Excuse me, but...WHAT THE...??? I must have just read over this in my lifetime as a factoid and never really caught the essence of it until now. Seriously?? Let's paint this picture really well.

These religious leaders have been scheming against Jesus for months, if not years, now. They hate the man! We're talking HATE. DESPISE. ABOHOR. We're talking the way oil companies feel about Greenpeace. This Jesus has been usurping their power. He's been messing with the establishment. He has threatened everything that they held to be important...because it made them important. As a result, they have been looking for a way to kill him. They want him out of the picture. And, then Judas comes along and sells him off. They come in the night. They have a secret trial. Everything has been covert and deceptive.

Then they take him to Pilate.

But they won't go in because they don't want to be ritually defiled.

Does this get in anybody else's craw or is it just me? These men have hearts as black as pitch and evil as their intention; but, they won't walk into the praetorium so they won't be defiled. They want to be able to eat of the Passover guiltless.

Good God.

And what is most depressing is this spirit is not dead today. We live by the letter of the law, but our hearts are not pure. We will be sure not to curse or drink or smoke; to be at church every Sunday and Wednesday; to pray over our meals at restaurants; to look "good." But, we will judge people. We will despise people in our hearts while we smile to their faces. We consider people of other denominations or various persuasions with contempt and disdain. We don't kill people; but, technically neither did the priests and pharisees. At least we're not doing it to Jesus; but, he did say "when you do it to the least of these..."

God over and over talks about caring more for clean hands and pure hearts, about mercy, about goodness than about sacrifice. Isn't that the heart of Jesus' message. That he can teach us to be pure of heart naturally? He wants us to be freed from religious dogma and legalism and to find the life God has intended for us all along. The good life where right is done because it is good... not because we were "told" to do it.

Hypocrisy is alive and well.

Not Buying It

2010-01-27T08:59:00.003-06:00

Excuses. Cop-outs. Justification.

“Christians aren’t perfect…just forgiven.” “It’s human nature.” “We’re still human.” “Just a sinner saved by grace.” I’ve heard all of these. Used a couple as well. But I think it is high time to have the rubber meet the road.

I read about a 1993 Gallup poll that showed 94% of people believe in God; 74% of those claimed a commitment to Christ; and 34% of those confessed a ‘new birth’ experience. THE SAME GROUP also had outrageous statistics for “unethical behavior, crime, mental distress and disorder, family failures, addictions, financial mis-dealings, and the like.” I need to do some research to see how far we’ve come in the last 17 years, but my guess is not far.

Is it any wonder we use one of the quotes above?

How is it possible that we can say we are committed to Jesus, but have such a lack of obvious evidence of his living presence in our lives? Who would blame the people who look at Christians and assume Jesus is not for them? Is what the Gallup poll suggests the “abundant life” Jesus said he came to give? I think not.

“Laura, you are not being fair. People struggle with temptation. We are still all defeated by our human nature. It’s hard to live as a Christian in this world. We have to learn to give up all those desires and it is such a challenge. You know what Paul said, ‘What I want to do, I don’t do; and what I wouldn’t do, I do.’ If it was good enough for Paul…”

(We’ll discuss another time whether or not I think Paul dealt with that all his life.) But to the issue… what you are saying to me is we’re beaten before we’ve even begun? That we must white-knuckle it through our lives…holding ourselves back from the things we really want to do because we’re not supposed to do them? Let me get really technical with you. That’s a crock.

“Are we to suppose that everyone, from Mother Theresa to Hitler, is really the same on the inside, but that some of us are just vigilant or ‘lucky’ enough to avoid doing what we all really want to do? Are we to suppose that God gives us nothing that really influences character and spirituality? Are we to suppose that in fact Jesus has no substantial impact on our ‘real lives’?” (D. Willard)

I’m sorry, but I am not buying what the church is selling. And let me emphasize “what the church is selling.” I don’t know where. I don’t know how, but the church as an institution lost the true gospel of Jesus somewhere along the way. Are we really surprised? I mean when we look at our history and see the number of times we have oppressed and hurt people under the banner of christianity (and I use a little “c” on purpose…so don’t lose me for my spelling), do we really think there is no possibility of us making a mistake?

If I am to be a real follower of Jesus Christ, an apprentice, a disciple…I better well start to look like him. What’s the saying? A person begins to look like his teacher? Who’s teaching you? Who’s teaching me? It’s gonna be somebody.

Our person…who we are…how we act will answer that. No doubt about it.

We can wear our starched shirts and smiles to church on Sunday and act like we are the image of perfection, but “truth will out” in the other six days of the week. Or if we’re good with the guise during the week, we at least know who we are in our heart and thought life.

And I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…it will come naturally if it is real. We don’t have to be “vigilant or ‘lucky’ enough to avoid doing what we really want to do” because we won’t want to do it.

Our nature will change. Our desires will change. We will become like Jesus. We will act like Jesus. It is the incarnation of faith…Jesus in us and through us. This is the real gospel. And we won’t ever need cop-outs or excuses again.

אָמֵן (let it be so.)

A Bar Code Faith? Not for me, thank you.

2010-01-22T18:35:00.002-06:00

Bar Code Faith…a concept termed by my mentor Dr. Dallas Willard. A frighteningly accurate analogy for what “Christian” faith has been turned in to.

“…There is something about the Christian that works like the bar code. Some ritual, some belief, or some association with a group affects God the way the bar code affects the scanner. Perhaps there has occurred a moment of mental assent to a creed, or an association entered into with a church. God ‘scans’ it, and forgiveness floods forth. An appropriate amount of righteousness is shifted from Christ’s account to our account in the bank of heaven, and all our debts are paid. We are, accordingly, ‘saved.’ Our guilt is erased. How could we not be Christians?
For some Christian groups the ‘account’ has to be appropriately serviced to keep the debts paid up, because we really are not perfect. For others… every debt past, present, and future is paid for at the initial scan. But the essential thing in either case is the forgiveness of sins. And the payoff for having faith and being ‘scanned’ comes at death and after. Life now being lived has no necessary connection with being a Christian as long as the ‘bar code’ does its job.
…Would God really do it this way?”

A great question. Would he? Let me continue with the analogy a minute.

Pastors are like “stock boys” at your local “gardening center.” They have come to the conclusion that it is their job to make sure they get the bar code on everybody. Don’t worry about whether or not the poor plant grows just get the right bar code on it. (By the way, this works especially well if you become emotional while coding.)

How the stock boys cry with joy when the number of plants coded is up. “Hallelujah! We coded 50 plants at VBS today. Bless those little sprouts soils…they have been permanently weeded!” “Praise God! We had 20 confessions of faith at Round Up Sunday!” That sure stroked the stock boy’s ego. He is sure his name is bound for the Stock Boy Of the Month wall!

Okay. So maybe I’m not being fair to the stock boy. I mean after all, he was just trained by the old nurserymen who have been training stock boys for ages. And if it’s always been done that way, it must be the way it is supposed to be done. Right? Those plants will sure look pretty in Heaven some day even if they are leafless and dying here on Earth. What more should the plant need?

Then there’s the poor plant. How could it know that it still needs life-giving water and nourishment from being planted in fertilizing soil? How could it know that it could grow into a beautiful, large, fruitful plant that could share its bounty with others who need it? Who is going to help it become that here on earth? What is going to make it different from all the other plants in the world?

I’ll quit with the analogy now. I’ll just repeat what Dr. Willard said, “Life now being lived has no necessary connection with being a Christian as long as the ‘bar code’ does its job.”

There has to be more to faith than just taking care of our sin problem and allowing us to access Heaven when we die. “Beep.” “You’re good… go on in.” God can’t simply be the great scanner in the sky. I don’t buy it. (Another pun intended.)

Jesus said he came to give us life eternally (I’m pretty sure that includes now). I wish that were what we preached. I wish that were what Christians were becoming…something beautiful, wonderful, appealing, life-giving. That’s what I’m shooting for, myself.

“Beep…” this.

This is for the Birds!

2010-01-08T09:25:00.002-06:00

Birds get a bad rap. The saying above does no justice to the poor things. In fact, they deserve much more credit than that.

[Laura has totally lost her mind. She’s writing about birds? This particular post is appropriately titled!]

Nope. I’m sane as can be (despite my children’s efforts). Jesus felt the same way about birds. Luke 12:24 says, “Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!”

So, here’s how I came to blog on this today. I’m reading about Jesus teaching the disciples to pray. Particularly, I read about the phrase, “Give us today our daily bread.” The insight on this is meaningful in light of the circumstances we find ourselves in today.

The request itself is more than a request for food (which is obviously good and necessary). This is also a request for “whatever else we really need to live in a functional manner.” And making the request (in its fullest sense) in effect frees us from all anxiety. God will provide what we need today.

That little word “today” is obviously important. Jesus didn’t teach the disciples to pray, “Give us today our daily bread and enough dough for tomorrow.” (Pun intended.) “Today I have God, and he has the provisions. Tomorrow it will be the same.” Frankly, we either believe this…or we don’t.

We live in a culture where fear of tomorrow drives our attitude toward money. You know, money itself isn’t a bad thing, but darn can we get our knickers in a knot over it. We are taught early to start saving for retirement. Get that money in there so you can earn interest and never have a care in the world again. This teaching is frequently, and unfortunately, based in fear.

Luke 12: 16-21 addresses this very example. The farmer who is storing up grain says to his soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.” He says this to his soul. Our financial future is not where our soul’s treasure should be hidden. Herein lies our problem.

“Now to make it clear about the teaching and the prayer, it is quite all right…to have things now that we intend to use tomorrow and to work or even pray in a sensible way for them. What hinders or shuts down kingdom living is not the having of such provisions, but rather the trusting in them for future security. We have no real security for the future in them, but only in the God who is present with us each day.” (Emphasis mine.) --Dallas Willard

We really can trust God to give us what we need today. He knows what I need for my well-being today (sometimes it is less/ sometimes it is more than I expect). I’m working on learning this. I will say it makes complete sense when I realize God is the provider of everything. So I shouldn’t worry. I don’t need to worry. If he’s got the birds covered (and those little suckers eat a lot!), then how much more has he got me covered?

Nehemiah Chapter Two

2010-01-05T08:03:00.008-06:00

Nehemiah continues his duties as cupbearer and is called to bring King Artaxerxes his wine. Amazingly, the Persian king notices his servant is very sad (“sadness of heart” as he puts it) and inquires why. Nehemiah, afraid but emboldened, asks why he shouldn’t be sad when his hometown is in ruins?

Unexpectedly, the king says, “What is your request?” WOW. Nehemiah prays quickly and then proceeds with a list of things he would require to repair the walls of Jerusalem. This was a moment he had prayed and prepared for. According to the Hebrew calendar, Chislev is like our December and Nisan is like our April. Nehemiah spent four months in prayer and fasting to prepare for this moment.

After hearing the well thought out plan, Artaxerxes asks only one question, "When will you be back?" And then he grants Nehemiah's request. "The gracious hand of God was upon me," he says.

He goes to Jerusalem accompanied by officers of the army and cavalry (not part of the original request, but provided by the King for support). He doesn’t rush in with his great plans, but in the dark of night one night, he examines the wall. He takes his time to know what he is up against.

Once he knows the task at hand, he approaches the people and says, “let’s rebuild the wall.” He tells the story of his words with the King to let them know it is okay. Then they say, “Let’s do it.” And, “They committed themselves to the common good.”

Their plans weren’t without conflict. Three officials who are neither Persians nor Israelites said they were rebelling against the king in this effort. Nehemiah says God will make them successful, and they have “no claim, right or historic share in Jerusalem.”

My Three Takeaways:

1. Be prayed up and prepared for that moment when you are asked, “What do you want me to do?"

2. Know what you are up against before attempting change.

3. Expect opposition from threatened “leadership.”

A Study of Nehemiah

2010-01-05T08:02:00.002-06:00

I am reading Nehemiah. Felt called to read it actually. I thought I’d write my observations on it as I go. A bit of a change from the way I usually blog (more reactionary than planned), but think it will be a good practice for this book.

So, Chapter One.

Nehemiah inquires of his brother how the people of Jerusalem are doing. The answer is they are in “great trouble and shame” and specifically, they have no protection because the wall is destroyed.

Hearing this, Nehemiah sits down, weeps and mourns for days, fasting and praying.

He cries out to God confessing the sins of the people, his family and himself. He asks God to remember the promise He made to Moses to gather the faithful who have been scattered. “O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant, and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name,” he requests.

Then he asks for success and mercy, “in the sight of this man!” What man? Then Nehemiah Chapter One ends,

“At the time, I was cupbearer to the king.”

Nehemiah was obviously in a comfortable place as a servant of royalty (particularly the Persian royalty). He probably lived in the palace and had all the benefits of that. Still, his heart was elsewhere.

May we have the vision to recognize how we can help others when we have been placed in a powerful position.

A Momentary Diatribe

2010-01-02T11:22:00.002-06:00

I read all of I Peter today. Just sat down and read it. Wow. It should be required reading for any activist who wants to use the label “Christian.” After reading the letter, I was appalled (not that I wasn’t already, but seriously…I am now appalled) by the people who abuse “Christianity” to advance their own specific activism.

Peter starts off explaining the awesome grace of God to us through Jesus. He says to set all our hope on Jesus and to conduct ourselves with holiness because “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” As such, he tells us to get rid of malice, guile, insincerity, envy and all slander. We are “now God’s people.” We have “now received mercy.”

Okay, here goes the big stuff. For those who want to check me, I’m now at chapter two, verses 13- 17.

For the Lord's sake accept the authority of every human institution, whether of the emperor as supreme, or of governors, as sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to praise those who do right. For it is God's will that by doing right you should silence the ignorance of the foolish. As servants of God, live as free people, yet do not use your freedom as a pretext for evil. Honor everyone. Love the family of believers. Fear God. Honor the emperor.

He goes on to give specific examples of slaves, wives and husbands acting in obedience. He talks about suffering for doing what is right. In particular he addresses suffering for being a Christian. He tells us to do what is right, no matter what. He says to do so in such a way that still honors everyone. He says it is hard to harm someone who always does what is good. Then he adds in 4:15, “But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, a criminal [and my personal favorite], or even as a mischief maker.”

When did it become okay to completely disregard all of this? When did we decide that “The Big Fisherman” was wrong? Does his teaching only apply to those under the leadership of an “empire?” OR have we just decided we know what is best. We have figured out that we can play on the sense of “right” in those called “Christian” and lure them to storm town-hall meetings, be arrested for disturbing the peace, or even blow up buildings.

So, obviously, my last example is something we Christians would say is unequivocally wrong. However, we think it is okay to be dishonoring to our leadership. We elevate the caustic (Limbaugh) and the demagogue (Beck). We do what is wrong at times because we think there might be a “right” outcome from it. Peter said there is no glory for Christ in suffering for what is wrong. We have decided it is okay to be “mischief makers.”

As an aside, I was reading Isaiah for advent this year. In it, God speaks to Isaiah and tells him that HE had raised up Cyrus (the Persian leader who did not believe in or acknowledge Him) to do mighty things to help Israel and glorify Himself. Since when did we decide God cannot use the kings and rulers of the world for his purposes? Since when did we decide we could be completely disrespectful of the leadership raised over us? If God can use a pagan king for his glory and the good of his people, can he not certainly use a member of, say, the United Church of Christ, for example?

So, we are citizens of another Kingdom. But, we live here now. As such, we should do what is good and honor our authorities. We should live as free people because we are citizens of God’s Kingdom, but we shouldn’t use our freedom as a justification to do what is wrong. We should stand up against injustice. We should defend the defenseless. But we need to be sure what we are fighting for is something Jesus would fight for. Plainly he had different standards during the days of the Roman Empire. What might he say to some of us today as we fight for our “cause?” Render to the IRS what is the IRS’s, perhaps?

So, forgive my diatribe. I was just very impressed upon by I Peter and needed to hammer it out for myself. I will close with a blessing Peter says we are to inherit as Christians:

“And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the power forever and ever. Amen.”

My Favorite Poet

2009-12-09T08:11:00.005-06:00

You could say I have a bit of an identity crisis. For while I have grown up Baptist, I have a natural affinity for all things liturgical. (You could also question if, perhaps, we have thrown the proverbial baby out with the bathwater as Baptists, but I digress...) Seeing as I love liturgy, I celebrate Advent with Christmas. It used to be I only ate the chocolate out of the advent calendar, and I never understood the crazy little wreath with the purple and pink candles at my grandmother's ("What do purple and pink have to do with Christmas??" I thought.) Well, I am happy to say I know now what they have to do with it, and that odd little wreath is proudly on display and in use in my home today. We have, for certain, our Advent Sunday reading and lighting. And, if I have my act together, we have the daily readings as well.

Ah. Christmas as hope and expectation of God sweeping into our lives. I love it. I love the candles cutting through the darkness that comes so early in winter. I love the expectation of new life at the end of the season and how the church fathers saw fit to begin the Church year with this expectation. It is brilliance. It is an iconic life. Signs all around me of God.

So, to help celebrate Advent, I wanted to share a reading. This is my favorite poet. I had the pleasure of an afternoon with her once. She is lovely. I hope you enjoy it. I might even share another later in the season. But for now, this is the one on my heart.

It is as if infancy were the whole of incarnation

One time of the year
the new-born child
is everywhere,
planted in madonnas' arms
hay mows, stables
in palaces or farms,
or quaintly, under snowed gables,
gothic angular or baroque plump,
naked or elaborately swathed,
encircled by Della Robia wreaths,
garnished with whimsical
partridges and pears,
drummers and drums,
lit by oversize stars,
partnered with lambs,
peace doves, sugar plums,
bells, plastic camels in sets of three
as if these were what we need
for eternity.

But Jesus the Man is not to be seen.
We are too wary, these days,
of beards and sandalled feet.

Yet if we celebrate, let it be
that he
has invaded our lives with purpose,
striding over our picturesque traditions,
our shallow sentiment,
overturning our cash registers,
wielding his peace like a sword,
rescuing us into reality
demanding much more
than the milk and the softness
and the mothers warmth
of the baby in the storefront creche,
(only the Man would ask
all, of each of us)
reaching out
always, urgently, with strong
effective love
(only the Man would give
his life and live
again for love of us).

Oh come, let us adore him-
Christ-- the Lord.

-Luci Shaw

Reconsidering God

2009-11-28T22:06:00.004-06:00

What if the way we have thought about God has been all wrong? What if he is nothing like we were taught? What if he is something… no… someone altogether different?

I hate to say it, but I think we have been wrong. God is not who we have been told he is.

I am so sick of the angry, menacing God who is eternally pissed at his creation. I had only to have a child to understand the love God must have for us. This is precisely why Jesus references parental care and affection in teaching about God.

But you don’t have to be a parent to “get it.” Just consider the love and cherishing we have for something we create (a table, a photograph, a piece of music, a scrapbook page…you name it.). Why would God feel any less about HIS creations? AND, do you EVER look at a piece created (especially one you considered “good”) and NOT cherish it because it doesn’t love you? No. You always love it. You long for it. It is always special to you.

Some quotes I read for us to consider…

“God is the most joyous being in the universe. The abundance of his love and generosity is inseparable from his eternal joy.”

Is this the God we’ve been introduced to in the Church (especially the Conservative one)? The God I’ve been introduced to is in angst over his lost and sullied creation. He is mournful, dour, depressed, angry, saddened…but never joyful. But, if I am honest, I like the idea of a joyous being. I like the thought that he is happy within himself and sees his creation with love, generosity and joy. That is a God I can be in relationship with.

“God is simply one great inexhaustible and eternal experience of all that is good and true and beautiful and right.”

Now, that is a quote I can be all over! How about a God that is the best possible thing imaginable at all times, always, forever. (Yes, I know I just said the same thing three times…but how else do we get it into our heads? I mean…he is ALL that is GOOD, TRUE, BEAUTIFUL, RIGHT – Wow!) As such, instead of thinking he is out to get me with all sorts of impossible rules and regulations, it gives me perspective that his intentions for me (for his whole creation…regardless of whether or not they love him…) are good. I guess this is why “rain falls on the wicked and the righteous.” He has the best in mind for everyone.

“Jesus himself was and is a joyous, creative person. He does not allow us to continue thinking of our Father who fills and overflows space as a morose and miserable monarch, a frustrated and petty parent, or a policeman on the prowl”

Jesus said when you see him you see the Father. It is self-explanatory. They do not contradict each other.

“God does not ‘love’ us without liking us – through gritted teeth – as ‘Christian’ love is sometimes thought to do. Rather, out of the eternal freshness of his perpetually self-renewed being, the heavenly Father cherishes the earth and each human on it. The fondness, the endearment, the unstintingly affectionate regard of God toward all his creatures is the natural outflow of what he is to the core – what we vainly try to capture with our tired but indispensible old word love.”

Ahhhh…soak in that a minute. This is the God we are to know. This is the God who made us, loves us, cherishes us (without condition…regardless of condition). And, yes, Jesus died for our sin condition…but ONLY because God already loved us beyond measure. He loved us even though we did not love him. He provided an answer to something He knew was hurting us.

The next person I hear tell me or someone else they need Jesus to protect them from the judgment and damnation of an angry God who is ready to pitch them into hell for their evil and sinful ways, I’m going off on them! God’s extension of love through Jesus was PRECISELY because he loves everyone.

So, I am reconsidering God. I am throwing off all of the old teachings of God that have hindered so many from finding him. And, I’m apologizing to everyone I know who has felt they could never be a part of his goodness for their badness. This is not something God has said or felt toward them. This is human teaching full of hurt and exclusion.

God is joyous, loving, generous. God is good, true, beautiful, right. God loves us and likes us. This is the God who wants to know you and me.

Butter or Margarine? I'll take butter, thank you.

2009-11-06T16:11:00.007-06:00

I love butter. I'm talking about real, glorious creamy butter. There is nothing that truly makes a pastry or pasta (or even a simple fried egg) more delicious than a little bit of butter. Yes, I have tried to make recipes using "healthier" versions to be certain I protect my heart from the evils of cholesterol; but, they just don't taste the same without the real thing. And while I appreciate the attempts of the "healthier" version to try to taste like real butter, I have yet to find one that does. Butter is better.

So, what is the point of my butter rampage on a blog that considers things of a spiritual matter? Well, I read a quote today that just made the butter analogy applicable. Here it is.

"Some will substitute ritual behavior for divine vitality and personal integrity; others may be content with an isolated string of 'experiences' rather than transformation of character."

Just as much as I want REAL butter, I want REAL power and life in God. We have been satisfied for far too long with a "margarine" faith. Just because I don't do this or that doesn't mean that I am the REAL thing. It could mean I am a legalist who lords my self-righteousness over others. Just because I go to church every Sunday and serve on every committee doesn't mean I am the REAL thing. It could mean that I am way to interested in what other people think about me and I need the accolades to feel self-worth. Just because my children are well-behaved doesn't mean I am the REAL thing. It could mean that I am a stern and dictatorial parent who forces my wonderful solutions on my children "because I said so" and they are afraid of me.

I am exhausted by "margarine" faith. Let me suggest an example (this is just one...there are so many). Consider with me those who are known to church and community as the kindest most selfless people. But get them at home with family and you get a completely different person. Harsh, mean, cruel, sarcastic (pick a vice). Does God count the behavior toward church and society as more points than the behavior toward the family? Who is the real person? Tougher question...is this person really a Christian? (Okay, so we can tackle that one later...)

Jesus knew that what really matters is the state of your heart. Either your heart is good or it is bad. And he suggested that he can take a heart and teach it how to be good. A "real butter" disciple is going to learn how to become a better person. His character is going to be transformed. He will do what is right because it is good, not because it looks good. He will participate in things out of the overflow of his desire to serve others. He will raise lovely, well-behaved children because they are loved and cherished and honored.

Real butter is good. Real power and life in God that spills over and flavors others lives is good. And, you can't fake it. Margarine will NEVER taste like butter no matter how hard you try.

Righteous Riotousness

2009-10-28T08:30:00.007-05:00

Riots. I think of the masses lining up outside Wal--Mart and then running over people and killing them just to get an in-demand toy. I think of the hordes of people outside the WTO protesting and the riot squads tear gassing them for containment. I think of Apple stores when the new iPhone became available. Oye!

If there is something people want, or want to fight for or defend, you're going to usually find a riot. Humanity will get what it wants...or else. It is our nature to go after that which we deem necessary for our fulfillment and well-being (whether for good or bad).

With this in mind, I have a new understanding of something Jesus said. Matthew 11:12 says, "From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence and the violent take it by force." Luke 16:16 says, "The law and the prophets were in effect until John came; since then the good news of the kingdom of God is proclaimed and everyone tries to enter it by force." These verses always confused me. I thought they were some sort of negative statement about the fallenness of humanity. But I think I get it now.

God had established the laws and rules by which to live, but the humans had taken those laws and twisted them to "justify themselves in the sight of others." God's laws and rules had been created to guide the human heart to follow him and thereby be a blessing to each other. But humanity had a different design...one of exclusion and elitism.

Then here comes Jesus onto a stage set by these "religious" humans. But, he goes to the masses in the farthest reaches of Israel. He doesn't start in Jerusalem where the elite strutted up and down the streets. He goes to the simple people who were certain they did not have access to God. How could they? They weren't rich (a sure sign of God's blessing). They weren't able to satisfy all the specific religious proprieties. They were the unblessed.

But Jesus opens his arms to these people and declares, "Rejoice! The access to God's power in your life is available!" He says, "Metanoia!" or "Rethink!" This means, stop thinking about the proprieties that have been spelled out by mankind. Instead listen to me and learn that you are not unblessed! Over and over he declares this message. God's reign, his sphere of influence, his awesome power is here for you through me! You are Blessed!

And the masses swarmed. The hordes pressed in around him just for a chance to touch his cloak and be healed. Prostitutes crashed parties and bathed his feet with tears and oil. Blind beggars (being hushed left and right by the "proper" people) began screaming at the tops of their lungs for his attention . Righteous riots...everywhere! Violent men (and women) rushed in for a chance to be a part of this powerful offer. And Jesus embraced them all. He touched them all. He healed them all.

"Now Available...God's Power in your life TODAY! Start living powerfully NOW! Entire lifetime Guarantee!" The offer still stands. And the violent, who see how valuable it is, still take it by force. So, don't anybody get in my way. I will claw and scratch my way to Jesus if I have to do so...whether the "proper" people like it or not. Screw propriety... I'm getting in on this!

I Can Be Vulnerable Because I Am Invulnerable!

2009-10-12T15:14:00.007-05:00

The Divine Conspiracy has one of the best explanations of the Sermon on the Mount (or "Discourse on the Hill" as Willard puts it). It shows how profoundly intelligent and logical Jesus' teaching is. I've grown up thinking the Sermon was a bunch of unrelated statements that, individually, were (frankly) confusing. But after the time I've spent reading them and TDC (as we'll now call it) they make SO much more sense.

In particular, the sections regarding turning the other cheek and working things out with one who would "sue" you make sense when one considers how Jesus says we are to live. We will, as we live through the Kingdom, act in a manner that exhibits the MOST love for the other person. So, when Jesus says to not only give your coat but your shirt as well...this is not a law, but...if giving my shirt in addition to my coat is the way to show the most love and care for the other person...I will do it. Now, if he doesn't require the shirt, I do not give it to him...for that is not the "loving" thing to do (and I certainly don't force it on him because "Jesus told me to do so!") I especially loved this quote:

"But what action we are to take [or not take] is something we must decide. We will decide, as best we know how, on the basis of love for all involved and with a readiness to sacrifice what we simply want. And in every situation we have the larger view. We are not passive, but we act always with clear-eyed and resolute love.
We know what is really happening, seeing it from the point of view of eternity. And know that we will be taken care of, no matter what. We can be vulnerable because we are, in the end, invulnerable. And once we have broken the power of anger and desire over our lives, we know that the way of Christ in response to personal injury and imposition is always the easier way. It is the only way that allows us to move serenely in the midst of harm and beyond it."

How I want the wisdom of the knowledge that comes from living through Kingdom power. Oh, to know the peace of my invulnerability because I am a child of the God who is in control of it all. Can you imagine moving "serenely" through a trial...what a beautiful thought. And what is even more beautiful is that, as I grow closer to Jesus and learn to live through his power, that serenity can become a reality. Brilliant!

My Favorite Prayer

2009-09-30T10:58:00.007-05:00

I thought I'd share my favorite prayer. It is posted inside my bible. Sometimes you just need a little something to jump-start your heart for prayer-time. This one does it for me.

O Lord, grant me to greet the coming day in peace,

Help me in all things to rely upon your holy will.

In every hour of the day reveal your will to me.

Bless my dealings with all who surround me.

Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the day with peace of soul and with firm conviction that your will governs all.

In all my deeds and words, guide my thoughts and feelings.

In unforeseen events, let me not forget that all are sent by you.

Teach me to act firmly and wisely, without embittering and embarrassing others.

Give me strength to bear the fatigue of the coming day with all that it shall bring.

Direct my will, teach me to pray. And you, yourself, pray in me. Amen.

-- Saint Philaret of Moscow

Silence is SO Loud

2009-09-28T14:32:00.005-05:00

I've been trying to practice the discipline of silence before God lately. I know he says to be still and know him, so this is my intention. "Still." That is a hard one. Poor Jim even complained of my inability to remain still the other day. He simply wanted to talk to me about something, but my circumstances are such that it is nearly impossible. From three different directions in the house I will hear, "Mommmmm!" Or perhaps I will hear nothing, and I know "nothing" is bad so I must investigate. "Still." Doesn't happen.

Now, I have the chance to SIT still in the mornings when I rise before the yahoos. I sit with great expectation of hearing from my God. The problem is my mind isn't still. It is a cacophony of worries, ideas, thoughts, to-dos...you name it...it's there. And it is SO frustrating. In fact, I wrote a poem about it. I think I'll call it "The Hounds of the Basket-case."

Call off the dogs that hound my head

The Spirit is so quiet

I cannot hear what He would say

For their infernal riot!

They growl and bark and snarl and howl

As I sit silent, still.

Full of sound and furious noise

Despite my strength of will.

I've tried throwing them a ball or bone

In hopes they'd go away.

But then they just engage me more --

Wanting me to play.

The only thing that I can do

Is daily, daily come to you

So you might hush them one by one

Until they are completely gone.

One cannot run a marathon after a single training session. One cannot expect to learn a language in one sitting. Any skill worth having takes practice. Silence, stillness is a skill. It is my hope and prayer that one day, after intense and purposeful practice, I will be able to be "Still" masterfully.

"Stupid to the Point of Sanctity"

2009-09-23T07:42:00.004-05:00

What I just read from Dallas Willard is so poignant. (As an aside, I am working through The Divine Conspiracy and there will be many references to it. Dr. Willard's words are worthy of serious thought.) The section to which I refer regards our current image and view of Jesus, the person. I no longer see him this way because I have recognized how ridiculous it is. But I digress; hear it from Willard:

"In our culture, among Christians and non-Christians alike, Jesus Christ is automatically disassociated from brilliance or intellectual capacity... Far too often he is regarded as hardly conscious. He is looked on as a mere icon, a wraithlike semblance of a man, fit for the role of sacrificial lamb or alienated social critic, perhaps, but little more.

A well-known 'scholarly' picture has him wandering the hills of Palestine, deeply confused about who he was and even about crucial points in his basic topic, the kingdom of the heavens. From time to time he perhaps utters disconnected though profound and vaguely radical irrelevancies, now obscurely preserved in our Gospels.

Would you be able to trust your life to such a person? If this is how he seems to you, are you going to be inclined to become his student? Of course not...

For all the vast influence he has exercised on human history, we have to say that Jesus is usually seen as a frankly pathetic individual who lived and still lives on the margins of 'real life.' What lies at the heart of the astonishing disregard of Jesus found in the moment-to-moment existence of multitudes of professing Christians is a simple lack of respect for him."

Ouch. But isn't this true? EVERY Christmas pageant or Easter pageant I have ever attended had this type-cast Jesus. You know him, too. The thin young deacon who has grown in the best beard he could muster walking through the choir (costumed as the adoring masses) with his hands out-stretched and trying desperately to "speak" with his eyes. Seriously? Is this my teacher? Is this to whom I am apprenticed? If it is, I want out and now. If this is Jesus, it is no wonder people look at the offering of Christianity and say, "Um, no, thank you."

He is not some floating specter of a man, absent and guileless, passing the time waiting to die a death so tragic and awful that the disparity between his temperament and termination will guilt us into "believing" in him. No. My Jesus, our Jesus, THE Jesus is a brilliant, masterful teacher worthy of attention who lived every moment up to his crucifixion showing us the availability and power of the kingdom of God for our lives here and now.

He is the defender of the weak and helpless. He is the prosecutor of the oppressor. He is the logician obliterating the arguments of self-importants pedants. This is the teacher I follow, and I read through the gospels hanging on every word he speaks.

"God's Grubby People"

2009-09-22T15:00:00.002-05:00

I read in Luke Ch. 20 this morning. Jesus is so brilliant. He was never duped by the duplicity of the religious elite looking to destroy him and his message that so thoroughly threatened their stronghold on religion. After their multiple failed attempts to deceive him into damning himself, Jesus turns to his disciples and says,

“Beware of the scribes, who like to walk around in long robes, and love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces, and to have the best seats in the synagogues and places of honor at banquets. They devour widows’ houses and for the sake of appearance say long prayers. They will receive the greater condemnation.”

Following this timeless statement, I read in The Divine Conspiracy chapter 4. I found Dallas Willard's words amazingly applicable:

“Lostness does not have to wear a stuffed shirt to find redemption… The flunk-outs and drop-outs and burned-outs. The broke and the broken. The drugheads and the divorced. The HIV-positive and herpes-ridden. The brain damaged, the incurably ill. The barren and the pregnant too-many-times or at the wrong time. The overemployed, the underemployed, the unemployed. The unemployable. The swindled, the shoved aside, the replaced. The parents with children living on the street, the children with parents not dying in the ‘rest’ home. The lonely, the incompetent, the stupid. The emotionally starved or emotionally dead. And on and on and on. Is it true that ‘Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal?’ It is true! That is precisely the gospel of heaven’s availability that comes to us through the Beatitudes. AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD. [emphasis mine] Jesus offers to all such people as these the present blessedness of the present kingdom – regardless of circumstances. The condition of life sought for by human beings through the ages is attained in the quietly transforming friendship of Jesus…

These are God’s grubby people… Any spiritually healthy congregation of believers in Jesus will more or less look like these ‘brands plucked from the burning.’ If the group is totally nice, that is a sure sign something has gone wrong. For here are the foolish, weak, lowly, and despised of this world, whom God has chosen to cancel out the humanly great (I Cor. 1:26-31; 6).

Among them indeed are a few of the humanly wise, the influential, and the socially elite. They belong here, too. God is not disturbed by them…

The Law and the Prophets had been twisted around to authorize an oppressive, though religious, social order that put glittering humans – the rich, the educated, the ‘well-born,’ the popular, the powerful, and so on – in possession of God. Jesus’ proclamation clearly dumped them out of their privileged position and raised ordinary people with no human qualifications into the divine fellowship by faith in Jesus.” (excerpts from pps.123-127)

God’s love will never be defined by those who think they have the “corner on the market.” Jesus was clear about that. The Kingdom is available to all, and many who think they have found it have not. We can know by the fruit we bear. “Fruit” is not legalistic rule following or “looking good.” Fruit is love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control. And the tree that produces this fruit does not strain to do so…it is borne effortlessly.